I get on social media everyday and am baffled by what I see…
Why can’t people scroll on if they don’t like what they read?
It’s me… I’m said “people” that clearly has trouble scrolling on…
*laughing at myself because I know it’s true*
Self-awareness can be amazing — both enlightening and also super annoying at the same time.
Anyone else feel that way? No? Just me?
I’ve been on a pathway of becoming my very best self, best mom, best person I can be — and with that comes listening to a lot of books on tape, podcasts, etc; when I work out, am driving Apollo to appointments — or on the rare chance that I have a free minute to myself.
I seek to know and learn all of the things, and lately I’ve learned a lot…
Setting Unrealistic Expectations
*FTC: This post contains affiliate links to products. However, the thoughts disclosed herein are my own. Please see full disclaimer here.*
I recently finished reading a book entitled: “Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head, and into your Life” by Gary John Bishop. If you haven’t yet read it, aren’t easily offended or afraid of profanity, and appreciate blunt feedback/advice (like I do!), then I highly recommend reading it!
You can purchase the book through Amazon HERE OR you can even borrow it from most libraries for FREE-99, too!
Anyway, Justin purchased said book a while back, and being curious myself, I decided to give the book a read. After reading the book, I discovered a lot about myself that I hadn’t considered previously.
Anyone else struggle with social anxiety?
This book was mind-blowing for me — I realized a lot of the social anxiety that has plagued my life for years centers around unrealistic expectations that I set. Rather than worrying about myself, and things that I can control, I have been so worried about what others are doing or not doing and I was setting unrealistic expectations of said individuals.
This is where self awareness can be annoying, because pride often stops people from realizing when they need to drink a large glass of “mind y’own business” and eat a large slice of humble pie. The struggle is real.
Anyone else become devastated, resentful, etc. when expectations are set and they aren’t upheld?
Reading said book made me realize how much I was unknowingly setting myself up for failure. I expected people in my life and on the internet, to act and behave a certain way. Who doesn’t like respect? What I realized is that those individuals don’t have to meet ANY of the expectations that I set, and becoming upset when those expectations aren’t upheld will only have a negative impact on me. A lot of my social anxiety was stemming from the fact that I was unknowingly allowing the actions of others (that I have zero control over) to have such a negative impact on my life. You heard that right — I was allowing them to negatively impact me and my life.
So what did I do? What was the first step?
My first course of action was to clean house — starting with social media. I immediately went on social media and removed myself from any and all social media groups that were toxic.
Ya’ll, if getting on a social media “support” group, or group in general gives you anxiety before you even scroll through the news feed — it shouldn’t have a place in your life. The toxic “support” groups I’m referring to were very much dog-eat-dog. I couldn’t believe some of the bullying that was going on before my eyes; completely appalling.
It was hard for me to let ignorance lie, and to keep scrolling, because some of the discussions on those pages were doing a lot more than upsetting me, they were triggering the fight-or-flight in me. And while I do NOT condone violence, I’m not afraid of confrontation, or standing up for what I believe in — even if at times I stand alone.
I’m a warrior — especially when it comes to protecting my kids.
Said book helped me realize that some people in this life are just miserable. Sorry, not sorry — anyone that goes onto an autism “support” group page, or any support group page, seeking to ruffle the feathers of others is a miserable person. Unfortunately, it took me a while to realize that no matter how much I plead my case, poured my heart out, tried to convince said people to consider other people’s feelings/opinions and be respectful — they will never get it, will never “hear” what I have to say, and at the end of the day all those discussions are doing is draining my precious time and energy.
Your time and energy are precious!
As a parent of a child with special needs, your time, and energy are precious. Don’t ever waste time or energy on anything or anyone that does not deserve it. After all, misery loves company, and I’m not here for misery — and you shouldn’t be either!
Until I read said book, I didn’t realize how guilty I was of feeding the internet trolls, and how much of an impact those choices were having on my life. So, I removed myself from the equation, and the temptation, and never looked back — no regrets!
If you have read or choose to read said book, let me know what you think!